What if it’s true?

What if it’s true:
God loves you and holds you
in the palm of his hand?

What then of all this
worry and fear?
What of the terrible things
that really do happen?

What if it’s true:
what you are looking for
is right here in this
moment, in this place?

What then of the dull
ache in my head and
the children who are
cold and hungry?

What if it’s true:
‘The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want?’

What then of this endless longing
for beauty and peace–
for intimacy and connection?

Impossible. Unbelievable.
Incomprehensible. Fantastic.
Preposterous. Wondrous.

I can’t guarantee
or even come close
to understanding except
in those moments when some
thing interrupts my carefully
curated dream of separation
and I find my self once again
in the boundless particular
of what has been so freely given.

Therefore instructions to self:
Stop your wild searching.
Don’t run off and try
to be good. It’s not that
kind of thing. Slow down
and slow down, then
slow down some more.
Now, take a breath and
look around. Forget
everything you’ve been
told and you will find yourself
where you have always been:
at the very center of it all.