Settling In

It feels like this will go on forever. This sheltering-in-place and staying-at-home. This life of phone calls and zoom gatherings. Travel only for essential activities. Wash your hands. Don’t get too near anyone else.

They say early May is when restrictions will begin to be lifted. Based on the gross inaccuracy of all our previous time-lines, it seems unwise to put too much faith in any specific date. And even when restrictions begin to be lifted, what does that mean? Will we ever get back to ‘normal life’?

One way to go through this time is to focus on settling in right where we are. A minister friend of mine used the metaphor of ‘pitching your tent in the desert.’ We are all Israelites wandering through the desert on our way to some promised land that never seems to appear. As this ancient story shows, this feeling of wandering in the desert is not unique to the Corona virus pandemic—it is simply part of the human condition. We are always on our way to somewhere and the landscape around us often appears bleak and barren. The Jews wandered for forty years. For most of us here in the States, it’s only been three or four weeks.

So how do we settle in? How do we make our home right here when everything is so different? Many of us are already beginning to create new routines. The first week or two of utter newness, we were just trying to survive. (And if you are reading this, you have survived. Congratulations!) But now we’re beginning to learn what kinds of patterns of living will be most useful to our physical and emotional well-being and that of those around us.

For me, the new balance has included a few things. The first has been the nearly daily Zoom meditation gatherings of our Boundless Way Zen Temple community. One of the blessings of being one of the leaders of this community is that I don’t need to decide whether I want to get up and meditate or not. My vow is to show up, whatever shape I’m in.

Many others in our community, now wonderfully extended around the world, have made a similar vow. In this time of uncertainty many of us have a need to turn toward the deep longings of our hearts. In the disruption of our lives we have an opportunity to look into the big questions of life: Who am I? What is the purpose of my life? So how do we explore these questions? How do we turn toward the source of life? For some of us it’s prayer, for some it’s playing the piano. For others walking or sewing or gardening or writing or painting. Whatever it is for you, I encourage you to make regular time for the activity of deepening.

The other part of settling in and creating a new balance is being sensitive to the rhythms of our new lives. Without school and traveling to work, the weekdays blend in with the weekends. It gets hard to remember what day it is. Several people I know are starting to create new daily and weekly schedules. There’s more freedom now to actually tailor some of this to your preferences. Do I like to get up early?  To work later at night? A conscious plan and/or calendar can help you appreciate and live in alignment with your own personal rhythms as well as those of your family.

The final part of settling in to live fully in these times in which we find ourselves, is accepting how different things are and how weird it sometimes feels. Whatever you are feeling at any moment is fine. It makes sense these days if you are feeling more anxious or scared. It’s also fine to really be enjoying some new parts of your life. (Who knew it was possible to keep my pajama bottoms on all day?)