Seduction of the Peonies

1.
My great wish is to give
myself so fully
in each moment
that there is nothing
left to reckon with.

I long to disappear
quickly and slowly into
the stuff of life itself.

I have suffered
too long separate—
waiting and watching,
hoping and trying
for some thing else.

2.
I’m tired of being
so careful and working
so hard to survive
the pandemic.

The pandemic of coronavirus.
The pandemic of racism.
The pandemic of separation.
I want a sabbatical—
a sabbatical from
being human.

3.
I want to be like the peonies
that just bloomed
yesterday in the front garden.
Glorious and unselfconscious,
they proclaim themselves on
slender stems that
can hardly bear the
weight of their wonder.
Not a single thought is
wasted on their precarious
position in the cycle of seasons—
this sudden moment stands alone.

Their peony extravagance
and immodesty are
on fully display.
Not one blossom
holds back for fear
of outshining the others.
These bulbous bundles
of pink wonder fearlessly
proclaim their softness and scent—
delicate petals gathered
for just these few moments
of unrestrained flaring forth.

Each one, so much
more than necessary.

Is God just showing off
or does life somehow require
this kind of reckless spending?

3.
The deep thrumming
energy of life
courses through us all—
rocks, trees, flowers,
animals, bacteria,
insects, bats and even
us beleaguered and
wondrous humans.

Listen and listen again.
Look and look again.
Can you hear it?
Can you see it?

Nothing is hidden.
Nothing is held back.

You must learn to follow
the pulsing rhythms
of your true life.