No Way Forward

Sometimes there is no way forward.

Situations arise within and without that we cannot fix and we are powerless to change. From the American perspective of constant progress and perpetual improvement, these moments are to be avoided at all cost. These times of stuckness are, however, the ways that individuals and systems grow and change beyond the confines of the bubble in which they have been operating. Carefully hidden secrets come to light. Old strategies and identities no longer suffice. While denial and defensiveness are our instinctive reaction, these are times of life-giving change and possibility. They almost always feel terrible.

We are facing such a moment in our society with the casually sadistic killing of George Floyd and our subsequent growing awareness of the brutal and overt racism embedded our system of policing. But policing is not the root problem, it is a manifestation of an intentional pattern of American aggression against black bodies for the last four hundred years. Many of us good white people have been doing our best to live good lives and to avoid having to look too closely at these terrible injustices that are at the foundation of our supposedly enlightened democracy.

President Trump has been a big help in bringing awareness to these (and other) important issues. His words and actions are so transparently mean-spirited and self-centered that many of us have been shocked out of complacency. Trump is a twisted and perfect realization of white American manhood. He’s ruthlessly out for #1 and proudly denies the mutuality of life. He only cares about appearing powerful and takes no responsibility for the consequences of his actions. But Trump would not last another day in the White House unless he was held in place by a system that supports and encourages this kind of behavior. The oligarchy of the wealthy needs protection from the consequences of their actions and Trump is just our man.

In the exaggerated mirror of Donald Trump, some of our country has begun to wake up to our hidden secrets and injustices. Beginning with the Women’s March on DC at the inauguration and to the #MeToo movement and now to Black Lives Matter. Trump’s negative example has inspired many of us and called us into action—challenging us to go beyond our comfortable lives and to own the power we have to create a world that includes truth, justice and opportunity for all.

So how do we move forward when we are at the impasse—the impasse of a pattern of inequality and racism so profound that it is easy to feel powerless to do anything productive? Flowery words and superficial apologies are of little use.

A colleague of mine at a gap-year school where I worked used to say to young people who had run afoul of our minimum standards of participation: ‘You can’t talk your way out of a situation you have behaved your way into.’

Chinese 10^th century Zen Master Hongzhi gives us this advice ‘abandon stratagems and take on responsibility’.

In these painful times of awakening, we come face-to-face with realities we would rather ignore. Our natural inclinations are defensiveness, avoidance and helpless collapse. But we are encouraged to see if we can begin to learn what it might be to take responsibility for our situation in some new way.

Taking responsibility begins with accepting that there is no quick solution for the pain and confusion present. Our actions and the actions of all who came before us have led us to this moment. In opening our eyes and ears and hearts, we can begin to let this moment change us. By staying right where we are without offering explanations or solutions—by looking and listening and feeling—perhaps the situation itself can begin to teach us what we need to know and point its own way forward.

Personal Practice – Think of some area in your life where you are feeling stuck. It could be in a personal relationship or in some part of the larger social issues we are all dealing with. Or it might be some place you are stuck within yourself. Whatever it is, turn your attention to the situation itself. Can you notice your tendencies to fix or to turn away? What would it be like if you gave up trying to ‘solve’ the problem and just let yourself be stuck? Allow yourself to feel and see and listen. What if this place has something important to teach you?