Confused Stasis

“I continue to experience uneven cycles which are combinations of a period of confused stasis, a period of productive ideation, a period of energetic resolution, followed by stasis, etc. Sometimes that fulfilled pattern takes a day, and sometimes a year.”

Me too.

Captain Petzel by Robert Heineken

A friend sent me this quote yesterday from the twentieth century artist and teacher Robert Heinecken who worked mostly with manipulated photographs. As a fellow artist, teacher and human being, I am grateful for his inclusion of ‘confused stasis’ and for the notion that there’s a cycle of creation that we go through. Life is not all ‘productive ideation and energetic resolution.’

As a life-coach, I sometimes help people clarify their deep longings and then take steps in that direction. But sometimes I just help people be where they are—especially when they are stuck. This is some of the most paradoxical and fruitful work I do. When people are stuck in a particular mind-state or feeling-state, instead of trying to get them out, I encourage them to be right where they are. Sometimes they are not very happy about this.

Being where we are is a challenging thing to do—especially when we are in a place that is uncomfortable and we just want to get out. It’s no fun to feel ‘stuck’, yet every human being I know sometimes feels stuck. It seems the work is not to try to live a life where you never feel stuck, but rather to meet everything that arises in your life with curiosity and kindness.

What if it’s not a mistake—not a failure to feel anxious or fearful or irritated or angry or uninspired? What if every place, even this one, has its unique gifts and offerings? What if your current ‘confused stasis’ is just part of the creative process of being a human being?

In Thessalonians I, Paul says it this way: ‘Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God.’   For those of us uncomfortable with theistic language we could translate this as: ‘Rejoice always, pay attention, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is not a mistake.’

This fierce advice that goes against our deepest instincts. We want to be comfortable, we want to get our way and we want to know what is going on. But the truth of human life is that suffering is unavoidable, we don’t always get our way and we can’t really know what is going on at any moment.

When the Buddha sat under his Bo tree and vowed to awaken to the truth of life, he was assailed by armies of doubts and distractions. The story goes that instead of fighting these inexhaustible armies, he saw into their true nature. He saw that everything is, at its root, life itself—sacred and holy.

This is what I find again and again with myself, with my Zen students and with my coaching clients. When we can find the courage and support to stay right where we are—opening our hearts and minds to that which is already here—then, this present moment blossoms and transforms. We are enriched by the dark angel we have been wrestling with.

Our miserable karma becomes our wonderful Dharma.

The stone that the builders rejected becomes the cornerstone of the Temple.

Personal Practice – What are the feeling-states that are most difficult to be with? What irritates you? With your boss, your partner, your friends, your self? Next time you are irritated or uncomfortable, see if it’s possible to slow down enough to be where you are. Is it possible not to have to struggle to fix something or to distract yourself? What happens if you let yourself be stuck right where you are?