300,000 Words

When the COVID lockdown began in earnest in mid-March 2020, I decided it would be a good idea to write a morning reflection to send to friends, students and acquaintances as a gesture of solidarity and support in response to the ‘unprecedented and uncertain’ times we were in. My intention was to write most every morning throughout the pandemic, which I expected would last a month, or maybe even two or three. Like most everyone, I was wildly wrong about the length of time we’d be in lockdown, but somehow I have managed to keep writing almost daily pieces for these past fourteen months.

My urge to write also sprang from my sense that I have particular perspectives and experiences as a Zen teacher, life coach, artist, gardener and human being that may be helpful to some others beyond my immediate circle. A previous stint of morning writing had led to my first book: THIS TRUTH NEVER FAILS: A ZEN MEMOIR IN FOUR SEASONS, which, though not a best-seller, was exactly the book I had always hoped to write. It was honest, down-to-earth and people from many different backgrounds found it touching and encouraging.

As I’ve been writing these past fourteen months, I’ve also had the intention to get down on paper some of the things that I share on a daily basis with coaching clients, students and friends. Though I don’t believe there is any secret formula for life, I do see the power that wisdom teachings from many different traditions have to transform our lives. As I have been writing whatever comes to me in the moment, in the back of my mind has been that these writings might be shared with a wider audience. From the beginning, another book has been lurking in all this cyber-writing.

This morning, exactly fourteen months from the day I began, I woke up to the realization that I can’t continue my daily writing at the same time as I comb through my accumulated jumble of thoughts, observations and reflections. The four hundred some entries totaling over 300,000 words will need my daily attention to reveal some deeper patterns that might be turned into a book.

I’m reminded of the joke about the boy who gets a huge pile of horseshit for his birthday. He is delighted. When someone asks him why he says: ‘With all this horseshit, there must be a pony in here somewhere.’ I’m beginning to dig for the pony. Of course, as a gardener, I also love the horseshit itself, though it does need to be composted for the maximum benefit for the plants themselves. So I’m beginning to compost as well as dig.

The book I dream of is a collection of these short improvisational writings that could sit on your nightstand and be a source of comfort and joy. My working title (that has about a 1% chance of being the final title) is: DEPENDING ON WHAT ARISES: ZEN REFLECTIONS, CONSOLATIONS AND REVERIES. Like my first book, each chapter would be one day’s writing. It would stand on its own, but will also hang together with the others as a collection that has some kind of loose beginning, middle and end. What the thread that connects is is still to be revealed.

For those of you who have been regular or even occasional readers of these daily reflections, thank you so much for your attention. And for those of you who sent occasional shout-outs of the appreciation and encouragement via email, Facebook or in person—a thousand thanks. Knowing that a small group of people out there has found these daily meanderings of value has allowed me to continue to expose and embarrass myself.

As usual, I feel that I have been the primary beneficiary of these past 300,000 words. I’m always listening to what I say and write because I don’t really know it until I say or write it. All the advice and insights are really to help me remember and appreciate the broken/whole person I am.

I offer deep bows to the universal source—to the creator through which all things are born. Our thoughts, words and actions come through us but don’t really belong to us. Our job is to take responsibility for everything that arises and to use it in service of the healing and appreciation of the world. This is indeed the deepest joy for many of us human beings—to give away all we have as an expression of the love that runs through us.