Disclaimer

Several friends have pointed out that sometimes I say ‘always’ or ‘everyone’ does this or that, or feels this or that, or that this or that will happen to ‘us all.’ They caution me against over-reach. Who am I to know about every one? Isn’t every life experience unique and aren’t I closing out possibility and speaking out of turn when I use these words? In considering their objections, I realize that I use these universal locutions to be inclusive. My intention is to write about life itself rather than my life in particular.

My main vantage point on life itself is my own experience, which in some mysterious way is both utterly connected to all the rest of you human beings and is also completely unique. I have come to trust that what arises in me is not just particular to me, but is me experiencing what human life really is in these particular circumstances. I trust my associative mind and notice what memories and thoughts and even physical sensations arise as I follow the thread of what is arising.

I also gather information from friends, families, students and coaching clients. I am fascinated by how each person I encounter has found a way to make it all work for them. Each person, as Jon Kabat-Zinn says, is a genius. I trust that everyone I encounter embodies both the particular wisdom of their own life as well as the full wisdom of being alive. One teacher referred to this as ‘the wondrous functioning.’ We all know perfectly well how to be ourselves and how to be in the particular situation we are in. The moment may be easy or it may be difficult, but it is always exactly what it is. (So there it is, ‘always’, appearing again.)

The Buddha taught that there are four marks of existence. (And even this is suspect – his teachings were not written down until hundreds of years after his death, so whose teachings are they really? Some say he taught only three marks of existence and some translate and understand these teachings in different ways than I do. So maybe they are simply my four, not the Buddha’s four.) The teaching, whomever it belongs to, is that change, discomfort, the lack of a fixed self, and awakening are common to all human beings. (Ruth King, in her book RACE MATTERS, wonderfully translates/interprets the first three as: nothing is permanent, perfect, or personal.)

But what I am trying to get at is that I do want to talk about and draw you, my reader, into the essence of life. I do want to get to the core of it all so that we can more deeply appreciate and work with this amazing gift we have each been given. In the service of this, I sometimes make blanket statements that may or may not be true. In fact, even the non-blanket statements I make may or may not be true.

This is where you, the reader, must continue to do your part. In spite of my best attempts at directness and honesty, I remain incorrigibly partial and self-deluded. I continue to miss the mark, both in my life and in my writing. I am engaged in the ongoing process of coming to terms with and even appreciating my blindness and forgetfulness as part of the whole dance of life.

I sincerely hope that sometimes I write or point to some truth that touches your own deep knowing as you read. This is what I aim for, to spark the resonance of your own wisdom. I am also sure that sometimes what I present with conviction and sincerity will not be true, meaningful or useful for you. Both are fine conditions, though I must admit my preference for the former.

So may ‘we all’ filter the teachings we encounter through the lens of our own experience. What confuses or disturbs us is not necessarily false, but our ultimate guide has to be our own deep heart’s wisdom. We ‘all’ already have the wisdom we are looking for.

(Excerpted from forthcoming book Wandering Close to Home: A Year of Zen Reflections, Consolations, and Reveries. September 1, 2024.)