Gremlins (part 3)

Gremlins are the voices in our heads that want to keep us right where we are. I sometimes think of them as an electric fence we have set up around ‘the way things are.’ In this image, we are all wearing dog collars tuned into the channel of that electric fence. When we get near the boundary and especially when we cross beyond our comfort zone, we feel the shock of that fence—the gremlins.

The original purpose of the fence is to keep Fido safe (and the world safe from Fido) but the fence, and the boundaries of who we think we are and what is acceptable/possible for us to do are arbitrary and always outdated. Our healthy and human boundaries and patterns are helpful as long as we can ignore and rethink and revise them from time to time as conditions (internal & external) change.

Yesterday I wrote about hearing the self-sabotaging voices of the gremlins for what they are. Listening and then giving a clear visual and personal identity to our gremlin(s) can be incredibly useful in working with their negative power. We can move through the thicket of confusion they throw up and take the risks that keeps us learning and growing toward lives of purpose and fulfillment.

Here are few more tips for working with gremlins:

Gremlins always have some beneficial intention. Beneath their fear and generally bad advice, there is some kernal of truth. Though they are quite limited, gremlin are not really against us. So as you sit with the gremlins that have arisen in the moment, you can ask them: ‘ What is your beneficial intention?’

Going back to the gremlin that encourages me to not exercise, who says: ‘You just don’t have the willpower to exercise regularly.’ His beneficial intention might be to help me avoid failing and feeling discouraged. I may need to reassure him that it’s actually OK for me to fail or be discouraged and that this is simply a part of life and that we’ll be fine, even if that happens. Gremlins often just need simple reassurance.

Gremlin statements always contain both truth and falsehood. Asking ‘What’s the truth and what’s the lie?’ can also be a powerful question. In the above example, the truth might be that sometimes I have great ideas that I don’t follow through on. The lie is that I am quite willful, determined and even stubborn about things when I set my mind to it. Remembering this helps me see the bigger picture and then choose more freely.

All of the above strategies can be helpful in hack your way through the brambled barrier of gremlin voices. But the most powerful strategy for not being stopped by your own self-sabotaging voices is to remember your purpose.

Doing things because we should do them is rarely successful. In the grand scheme of the universe, willpower is a very weak force. Inertia, fear and a host of other forces overwhelm willpower everyday. Thinking that I should exercise because it is good for me is not very helpful in actually getting me out there on my bike.

Remembering my purpose, in this case, is asking myself: ‘What is important about this action?’ or ‘What deeper purpose does this serve?’ As I inquire about the deeper importance of exercise I come up with many things: I love to move and feel better during and after exercise. My body is an amazing gift that allows me to do so many things I love; like gardening and walking in the woods and making bread. I want to preserve my ability to do these things for many years to come. Also I think of my joy in picking my 17 month-old grandson out of his crib after his nap when he reaches for me and says ‘Baba, Baba.’ (my granddad name).   Regular exercise is one way I can help make sure I’m able to hold and play with him for many years to come.

That’s all powerful stuff that touches something much deeper in me that what I think I should do. As I consider these things I feel like I’m remembering and aligning with some deeper intentions of my life. When we remember what is truly important, gremlins have little power. We are willing to take risks and endure discomfort because it is in service of something much larger. Inconvenience is not a problem when we remember what we are here to do. Remembering our purpose is one of the most powerful things we can do in working with these natural forces of inertia and homeostasis: the gremlins.

One final word of encouragement. When you are beset by the gremlins ‘whispering their bad advice’ as Mary Oliver says, you can be sure you are in an important place. The gremlins try to keep us from changing – at all and ever – so their presence is a sign that you are in the land of possibility, creativity and change. You can appreciate yourself just for that, remember what you really want and step forward into your life.

Personal Practice – Think of some new action or behavior you’d like to have in your life. Get as specific as you can. Now consider what is important about taking this action? What is the deeper purpose of this step? Take as long as you need with this consideration until you find something that stirs you—something that feels truly important. (If you can’t find any deep reason for your intended action, then it probably isn’t important enough, or necessary, to do.)

Now think of the first step of this action/behavior and do it.