#4 Zazen is Participation in Life (part 2)

My second understanding of the fourth of the 31 Fundamental Teachings of Zen (Zazen is participation in life) comes from a teaching my teacher passed on to me decades ago in the first years I was studying with him. I came to him one day distraught and in tears. I think it was about the pressure I was feeling in my new job of being Headmaster of a private school. Whether it was about finances or student or staff behavior, I can’t remember. But things were really not going well and I was feeling totally overwhelmed. I went to him as a teacher and exemplar of Zen, hoping he would have an answer.

He listened as I talked and cried, then said in the kindest voice, ‘You don’t expect Zen to save you from your life, do you?’ As I write it, it sounds almost cruel, but in that moment, it felt incredibly loving and shifted something deep inside. He was inviting me to give up the impossible task of fixing and controlling and to begin to fully participate in my life.

The path of Zen is not about withdrawing into states of equanimity and bliss, but rather to find our true home right in the middle of what is happening here. When I am feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, the way of Zen is to be fully exhausted and overwhelmed. Looking to fix or escape just increases the suffering.

Fully allowing what is here to be here can be a great relief. Our lives are continually flowing on—one mind state constantly turns into the next. Thoughts and opinions, feelings and sensations continually arise and pass away. We solve one problem, then the next problem appears. Control is impossible. Any fix we come up with is temporary at best. It appears increasingly evident that neither you nor I are the ruler of the universe. Everything around us and we ourselves are coming into being and then certainly passing away. A life spent trying to fix or manage reality is exhausting and futile.

Zazen is participating in life.

We are invited to give up our endless objections and join in. The entryway to our true life is whatever is going on right now. Right here where you sit and read these words. Perhaps you are feeling energized and inspired to fight for our democratic institutions that were so visibly threatened in the insurrection of January 6. Or maybe you are feeling discouraged and overwhelmed by the ongoing conflict and division of our country. Or sick and tired of it all. Or just enjoying how effortlessly life goes on amidst all the drama.

THIS IS IT.

As I continually delight is saying – This is the bad news and the good news. There is not some other place we should be. We cannot someday escape to the fantasy land of enlightenment.   There is no way around the impossible and truly ungraspable situation of this moment. But this is it, also means that this very place is the place you have been looking for. This very moment with all the thoughts, feelings and sensations that are here, is the entryway to your true life—a life of freedom and appreciation.

This is not an invitation to abdicate our responsibility to stand up for compassion, justice and fairness. Allowing things to be as they are creates the space for us to see clearly the pain and suffering going on around us and to act boldly against all forms of oppression, intimidation and injustice.

In our wholehearted participation in our lives, in the fully impossible and wondrous conundrum of being human, we can find a place to rest right where we are. Winning and losing, solving and not solving, engaging and withdrawing—life flows on unimpeded and available to each one of us.

I’m reminded of the wonderful song from the Native People of this land: ‘Why do I go about pitying myself, when all the time I am being carried on great winds across the sky?’

** I forgot to mention in yesterday’s blog that you’re all invited to join the Boundless Way Zen Temple in any one (or all) of our eight weekly meditation on-line practice periods. We practice participating in our lives together through zazen, chanting, talks and discussion. No experience necessary, just use the link at our website (www.worcesterzen.org) and come ten minutes early for a brief welcome and introduction.