17 Perspectives on Downsizing

The quality of our lives is not so much determined by the actual events themselves, but by the stories we tell ourselves—the meaning we make of what we encounter.

The perspectives/stories on downsizing below are mutually contradictory and all true.

If you happen to be engaged in the process of downsizing (as I am), you might read through the list below to see which viewpoint (or some other one) is most familiar to you. Be aware of what your ‘default’ story is and how well (or not) it has served you. Just knowing the perspective we are in can be helpful in creating more options moving forward.

If you want to create more flexibility and perhaps even more fun in your downsizing efforts, you might see if there are perspectives below (or ones you can make up) that are also true for you and that might be useful as you go through the sometimes necessary joys and sorrows of downsizing. If so, see if you can consciously touch the truth of this other position that may not be the most natural to you. What is it like to ‘step into’ this perspective? What would it be like to do some part of your downsizing work from this position?

17 Perspectives on Downsizing

1) My Wonderful Things — We collect treasures that remind us of experiences, places and people we love. These objects are a precious and wonderful part of our lives—every little stone and shell is unique and life-giving.

2) Lightening My Load — The things we have require both physical and mental space. They can weigh us down, clutter our lives and leave us little space to breathe. They were nice once, but if my whole house burned down, how many of my things would I even remember to miss?

3) Prepared For Contingencies –- You never know what is going to happen. If you let go of that pair of old pants, what will you wear next time you decide to paint the porch? Hold onto as much as you can to be prepared for what lies ahead.

4) Practicing Dying –- Eventually, everything you have will be taken away. Though you may imagine this as a fearful event, human beings have also reported being quite excited about the prospect of leaving the suffering and burdens of this ‘mortal coil’. Many religions also preach that a certain kind of dying before we actually die is a necessary step toward a life of freedom and meaning.

5) Hard Thing to Do –- The decision-making process of looking at each item you own and deciding whether there is room for that in the new place is exhausting. It brings up memories of the past and concerns about the future. There’s no way to do it but to buckle down, grit your teeth and plow through.

6) Nothing Really Belongs to Me Anyway – everything you have has been given to you. Even the things you bought with your own money or made with your own hands were given to you through the generosity of the universe that gave you the skills to earn the money or the talent to create. The stuff of your things comes from the world around you that can neither be owned or not-owned. It was here before you ever showed up and will be here long after you disappear.

7) Yes, No and Maybe –- Some stuff is clearly useless and some is clearly necessary, but a huge amount of your stuff probably fits into the ‘maybe’ category. Do Yes and No first and see how much room there is for maybe.

8) Full Moon –- The moon would not be the moon without both the waxing and waning. So it is with our lives. Sometimes we accumulate, sometimes we diminish. Complaining about the waning moon is certainly possible, but is not likely to lead to an improved quality of life. Happiness only comes from appreciating whatever phase we happen to find ourselves in.

9) Quality of Life –- What if the end result is not as important as the place you are right now? If you want to live a life of compassion and acceptance, there is no other time to live this life than right now. Can you appreciate the challenge of letting go of so much and allow yourself to feel all the emotions that arise? Sadness for what is over, resentment that this is necessary, excitement for what is to come and a thousand other emotions as well.

10) Bird Song –- The birds carry very little with them from season to season, from nest to nest, yet they sing fully every morning and make no complaint against whatever weather arises.

11) Trailer Truck –- It honks as it rushes by in the early morning. It’s filled with stuff going somewhere. All the stuff that we have is simply a distraction from the real thing of life, which is relationship – to ourselves, to others and to the world around us. Imagine loading everything you own into a trailer truck and taking it all away for someone else to have to deal with.

12) Sparks Joy –- Thank you Marie Kondo for reminding us of our visceral connection to the things we own. But the unspoken secret to the effectiveness of her method is the assembling thing of a category (clothes, books, kitchen stuff) in a large pile before you touch each thing and choose to keep only the items that ‘spark joy.’ Without the pile, we lose the perspective of the whole and make decisions without realizing the vital connection of one thing to another and everything to the greater whole.

13) Plaid Shirt –- Though fancy clothes and things are nice, the basic stuff, like a plaid shirt and pair of jeans, does just fine for most of life. A small selection allows more freedom to live your life than a large selection – less time deciding and less time focused on the surface of things to allow more time for what truly matters.

14) Just the Right Shirt –- To wear clothes that delight us is a way of expressing ourselves and living a good life. Having choices allows us the joy of each morning finding just the right clothes for the season, for our mood and for the occasion of that day.

15) Passing It On –- Even in this country of abundance, there is real need—families and individuals who have few resources. Giving away some of what you have to organizations that sort and make it available for others is a way of passing on the abundance of your life.

16) A Little Help From My Friends –- My mother used to come in my room and help me clean up by just being there and keeping me company. It’s easy to get lost and overwhelmed in the process of sorting, selecting and packing. Ask a friend to come over and help.

17) No Mistakes –- So far, in this life, you have had all that you need to get by. Whatever you decide to keep or let go of will be just the right thing—no need to worry about the ‘right decision’. Keep what you keep, pass on what you pass on and praise God through it all.

(Excerpted from forthcoming book Wandering Close to Home: A Year of Zen Reflections, Consolations, and Reveries. September 1, 2024.)