Wriggling to Consciousness

Four months now
he has squirmed and wriggled.
Arms flailing spasmodically—
legs kicking randomly—
torso twisting this way and that.

From the beginning
he has been devoted—
determined to expend
vast amounts of energy
in this essential commotion.

Now his wild investment
is beginning to pay off.
Unrelenting mistakes are
surely leading toward
creeping mastery.
When the fuzzy bear
dangles in front of him,
one small chubby hand
or two wavers its
way in the desired direction
and tiny fingers clutch
acrylic fuzz bringing it
at last to the mouth
for satisfying inspection.

With no conscious plan,
he surely weaves himself
into worldly consciousness.

Perhaps we are all
like this—flailing away
with pretense of purpose,
but fundamentally ignorant
of final destinations.

How providential that
our ongoing wriggling failures
occasionally lead the chubby hands
of our soul to find their way
to some fuzzy love
that surrounds us—
and that we may
even innocently receive
it into our hearts
and, for a moment,
be satisfied.

Zen Dharma Transmission to Michael Shoryu Fieleke

David Dae An Rynick, Roshi and Michael Shoryu Fieleke, Sensei January, 2019

On the night of January 5, 2019, in the presence of teachers, family and friends, I gave full Dharma transmission in both the Soto and Rinzai lineages to Rev. Michael Shoryu Fieleke.  Mike Sensei is the Guiding Teacher of the Morning Star Zen Sangha in Newton, MA (http://www.morningstarzensangha.org/). He has a PhD in education and is a beloved English teacher at Newton North High School where he has been teaching since 1994.  He lives in East Waltham with his wife Sandra Raponi and is the father of two adult children.

Mike Sensei will continue his teaching at Morning Star, at the Boundless Way Temple in Worcester, MA, and wherever his feet will lead him.  I am so happy to recognize Mike’s profound gifts of compassion, wisdom and presence.  May all beings benefit from his teachings!

She Holds Him When He Cries

She holds him when he cries
and gently coos ‘Oh Sweetie, what’s wrong?’

He sometimes seems to listen,
but being so newly arrived
in this world of sensation and light
he mostly wriggles and cries.

My daughter is the mother
and little Isa is the infant,
yet witnessing their ancient
dance of comfort and love,
I find myself in all the parts.

Isa will not remember these hours
of cuddling and cooing except,
perhaps, in his deepest heart
where some possibility of living
at ease in this surprising world
may always be with him.

Snowdrops

As the snow retreats

they surprise me every year

in the same place.

Two Guys on the Sofa

Two guys on the sofa
in the late afternoon—
the small one sleeping
contentedly in the arms
of the big one, both
embraced in the silent
wonderment of it all.

The sleeper is my new
grandson, Isaiah Leo, six
days old this morning.
His Mom and Dad are
collapsed in their bedroom
while his grandmother rests
in the guest room. Everyone
has worn each other out.

I’m the lone (and delighted)
sentinel, here in the quiet
living room, safeguarding this
precious bundle of fleshy vitality.

If he fusses, I’ve been
instructed to deploy first
the old finger-as-pacifier trick,
then fall back to
the change-the-diaper tactic
and, as a last resort,
to wake my daughter
to enact the ancient
and essential way:
baby-roots-and-eats-
at-his-mother’s-breast.

But for now, he sleeps
quietly playing his part
to oblivious perfection.

Isaiah Leo – welcome
to this world. I am
amazed that you are here—
that you have come
from some unimaginable
place and are now
alive and wriggling in
your sleep in my lap.

Who formed your limbs? Who
taught your heart to beat
and your lungs to breathe?
I ponder these unanswerable
questions which are perfectly
answered by the undeniable
weight and warmth of your
small body in my lap—by
the very particular aliveness of you!

Your passing expressions
are endlessly fascinating.
You open your mouth
and stick out your tongue—
I laugh in amazement.
Your perfectly articulate
sleeping hands are a supple
miracle beyond comprehension.

What shall I do with
my joy and astonishment?

For now, you and I will simply
stay here on the couch
as this quiet room darkens
and everyone else sleeps.